I'll try my best to be completely honest. Here it goes.....
Don't be afraid to leave more space.
Go ahead and just let those notes fly, you can do it.
It's not as fast as you think, relax.
Why do you always have to overblow so fucking much? It's not a crime to play quiet.
Dude, your palm keys are still seriously sharp.
Relax, relax, RELAX!
Back off the vibrato already, it's not 1940.
Playing bluesy on this blues is not mandatory. Just play interesting and don't try to over emote.
Why, oh God why won't my low C play in tune. It must be my horn's setup horn. What else could it be!? Just don't play low then. Maybe every Mark VI alto is like this?
Let's hear some snakey lines!
The audience can handle it if you stretch. Oh, who the F#*K cares anyways!
Hear it. Listen for something new.
That tired-ass lick again?!
Hey, instead of warming up on the gig by the last set, how about warming up at home for a once.
Why didn't you find a reed BEFORE you got to the gig again?
Lay back whitey!
Quit dragging your lazy eigth notes!
Stop tounging so much, do you want to sound like Ernie Watts or something?!
Do we sound bad or does the food just really suck here? Why does no one ever show up at this club?
I wouldn't have to hire a bass player this bad if I still lived in NYC.
I need some new material, I hate all the tunes in my book.
This is a great tune, I sure wish I could play it.....
Relax!!!!! What is your problem spazz?
Inside is OK!
Outside is OK! What is this the Lawrence Welk band?!
Did I sound better twenty years ago? I really wonder at times like this. I had more energy then didn't I?
Why do I hire these young guys again? Shit, what the hell was I thinking? When will I ever F*$king learn? This is my own fault.
Don't lose intensity and focus half-way through your solo! Why can't you ever end you solos as well as you start them? How hard is it really?
That solo wasn't half bad. I knew you should have put new batteries in the flash recorder. What if that one was the best solo you've ever played in your entire life? What do you think, batteries last forever?!
Please, enough with the triad pairs already. Give it a rest.
Did that other reed sound better? It did didn't it? Now which one was that?